If you can’t afford actual therapy, consulting this handy guide to television’s favourite radio psychiatrist will almost certainly have the same impact. Here are five things Frasier (Sept 1993- May 2004) taught us:
1. No matter how brilliant you are, how endlessly witty, how beautiful the view from your apartment balcony, how much you make being bald look pretty damn awesome, how successful you are in your career, how many awards you win, how many incredibly beautiful women you sleep with or how financially secure you are…your deep rooted psychological issues will still trick you into into behaving like an absolute idiot at least once a week.
2. The star of every sitcom should sing its theme song. In fact, I will go further. The theme song of every sitcom should be Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs and Kelsey Grammer should sing it every time. Not only is it a great piece of music, it deftly summarizes the whole show.
3. For a great many men the sexiest profession will forever be not nurse, not policewoman, not milkmaid, not stripper, not Secretary of State, not cheerleader, not waitress, not judge, not musician, not the latino maid you saw in that video that one time, not barrister, not teacher who wore the vaguely short skirt when you were 13, not zookeeper, nor acrobat or marine biologist but radio producer.
4. There’s a hoary old showbiz saying that says you should never work with kids or animals. But the real pros know when a dog actor’s got it, he can blow any human talent off the screen. (That link will take you to a twenty minute YouTube video that contains every one of Eddie the Dog’s appearances in the first season of Frasier. That dog is more talented than Sean Penn.)
5. If you fall in love with someone you should definitely not tell them about it. Instead you should follow the Niles Crane approach, bottling up your emotions so they manifest in odd ways like secretly smelling the clothes of the object of your affections.
Wait at least eight years before declaring yourself to be sure that your love will be reciprocated and you will live happily ever after.
Additional thing I have learned that seems relevant.
6. Once you’ve had black Frasier, you’ll never go back.
So what have we missed? Continue the list in the comments. Also, an eminent psychologist just told us anyone who visits a website and doesn’t comment almost certainly fancies their own mum.