Sex. You're doing it wrong.
Yes, that’s right: we said Friends. So what if it’s been off the air for nearly 10 years now: no one said we had to be current.
1. It doesn’t matter if you’re a waitress, an out of work chef or a data entry drone, you can still afford a large, airy apartment on the corner of Bedford and Grove in Manhattan.
Apparently landlords in New York accept payment in farcical situations.
2. Booze? What’s that? Yep, 20 somethings in the US don’t head to the pub, they sit in a coffee house all day drinking overpriced lattes that cost about twice as much as a shot of vodka in Wetherspoons. The fools.
3. Looking for love? Why not approach your flatmate, friend’s sister or other awkwardly closely linked individual? I mean, there’s no point making an effort. It’ll be fine if it all goes horribly wrong, because you’re in a sitcom.
4. According to Friends, sex involves hiding under a duvet and making jokes with a t-shirt on. Not to mention occasionally dressing up as a Star Wars character and playing with sock puppets. No wonder Chandler and Monica never concieved.
5. JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD
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What do you think of our list? Got anything else to add?
Leave your ideas in the comment box below
6 – There are only 3 Black people in New York.
7. Table football is the zenith of Western culture and the single most desirable object/pastime a man can enjoy.
8. A whole generation of young men ruined themselves and any prospects of romantic success by mimicking Ross, whose actions and attitude inexplicably got him laid, regularly, by genuinely hot women.
9. There is no finer acting technique than the ‘smell the fart’ method. Exhibit 1: Alex O’Loughlin in Hawaii Five-0. Or Matt LeBlanc himself in Episodes.
By the way, whatever happened to Gunther?
10. Male-on-male affection makes you gay.
11. Turkeys are made of some kind of breathable material that means you can wear them as a mask without dying in horrible, writhing, choking agony.
12. Keep a secret from other people in an open plan apartment simply by walking to the kitchen and talking normally
^ THIS is my favourite comment so far x
Rachel: “I love Ross!”
Ross: “Pardon? I couldn’t hear what you said from all the way over here near the fridge”
Rachel: “That’s because you’ve got a turkey on your head”
12. The lyrics to Smelly Cat and the best shower song ever.
13. You can spin four jokes out to 240-odd episodes. Twelve? John Cleese didn’t have a fucking clue.
The sex photo illustrating the article is immensely disturbing. Not only are they playing with puppets in bed, but that puppet’s on his NOB.
/lowers tone