The web site visitdenmark.com encourages you to visit this “Oasis in Europe” with the following comment:
“The easy going attitude and the feel free mentality makes Denmark a great place to recharge. The relaxed locals will help you feel welcome.”
…which is quite different from what I would have expected it to say based on my in-depth research of watching two seasons of The Killing. I would have thought this would be nearer the mark:
“The macabre and mysterious nature of local crime, coupled with the vague guiltiness of absolutely everyone you meet and the heavy-handedness of the semi-psychotic police force, will leave you a nervous wreck for your entire stay. You will never forget your holiday in Denmark, assuming you make it home alive, which frankly I wouldn’t put any large bets on.
Plus it rains all the time. All. The. Time.”
I’ve also learnt that some time around 2008, Denmark was scientifically proven to be the happiest country on earth. This leads me to one of three conclusions:
1. The Killing is in fact the work of a crack group of scriptwriters affiliated to the Norwegian and Swedish tourist boards.
2. That the Danes like a bit of exciting, dark drama to relieve the monotony of their crushingly happy and content lives.
3. Something really, really bad happened in Denmark in 2009.
Anyhow, now that we’ve had the grand double-bill finale (and what a belter it was too) lets try and pick the (incriminating) bones out of it.
Shockingly, none of my predictions really panned out: not even the one about the food related serial killer. However I wasn’t too shocked when it turned out that Strange was both the gruesome murderer and the mad war criminal, mainly because he had a very tidy desk: always the sign of a psychotic, child-murdering sadist in my experience.
What was more shocking was the sheer amount of revelatory action that was packed into these last two hours.
Loads of TV shows get the plot wrapped up early and then have an hour or two of completely extraneous post match analysis/’six months later’ rubbish, often set to music (I’m looking at you The Wire).
There was none of that in Forbrydelsen II. Right up to the last ten minutes you couldn’t be completely sure how each set of characters were going to end up.
There was an awful lot to process before the two main climaxes of the series: Plough being revealed as a kind of shit Deep Throat; the Afghan Red Hand Gang misinformation; Bilal trying to not look guilty by kidnapping Mrs Raben; Lund sorting out the domestic Afghan forces (still in the same jumper, incidentally: it must have been absolutely minging by then) not to mention all the politicians trying to out-do each other and changing sides every thirty seconds.
But back to the unmasking of the Killer (Forbrydelsener?).
In a frighteningly complicated and seemingly suicidal tactic, she teases an inconsistency out of Strange, confronts him with it, gets him to shoot her several times and then pulls the old “I’m not actually dead, I was wearing a bullet-proof jacket trick”. Once again this exposes Strange as a fairly hopeless murderer for deciding not to shoot Lund in the head.
Such low standards don’t go unpunished and pretty soon Strange is helpless, held at gunpoint by avenging angel Lund and warned starkly not to try and grab a pistol just out of his reach. This being a crime drama, he of course does just that meaning Lund is forced to shoot him an awful lot, possibly a bit more than she needed to.
There’ll be a spare, albeit grisly, colander to use for the Christmas sprouts in Police HQ this year.
A large percentage of this series blog’s wordcount has been devoted to finding new ways to describe the extreme glumness of the ace Sofie Gråbøl as Sarah Lund, but at the end as she walks through the parting ranks of her late-arriving police colleagues she really does look as fed up as a woman who has just had to shoot a bloke who just hours earlier was holding hands with her in a Land Rover.
Some quick last-minute points:
- The subtitle dept. were having an end-of-term laugh this week, throwing in a bunch of exclamation marks to let us know when sarcasm was occurring(!!!!) It also emerged that the term ‘grassed up’ is as prevalent in grisly Danish murder cases as it is in custody suites in Liverpool.
- What on earth was going on when Buch was screaming down his phone “Stop phoning me you silly bitch!”? I felt like I was on mushrooms again.
- If I were a total tosser I’d probably point out the neat sacrificial parallel between Bilal exploding himself and the melodramatically coiffured defence minister taking the blame to keep the heat off the unblinking overlord Prime Minister. Oh.
And now, for the last time:
Christine’s Knitwear Watch
“The Danish Police Uniform Department has identified a number of serious manufacturing defects in Jumper #3, the most notable of which being a deceptively loose weave resulting in areas of serious structural weakness. This careless style of knitting contravenes several health and safety laws by leaving the wearer vulnerable at times where there is a risk of gunfire and/or knife fighting.
A product recall notice has been issued and a new jumper (#4) has been distributed as a replacement. Jumper #4 is exactly the same as Jumper #2, but helpfully comes equipped with a disclaimer and optional protective Kevlar twinset accessory.”
If you’d like to knit your own Sarah Lund jumper, you can f0llow this handy pattern from this week’s Radio Times. Anyone who does- and sends in a picture of themselves pretending to shoot a colleague in the head while wearing it- will win some form of prize.
My guess as to what will have happened by the time we get to Season 3:
- Lund will be working as a lone-wolf private investigator, as quite sensibly no-one in the Police wants to be her partner anymore.
- The prime-minster will have revealed his true evil-lizard nature and will be trying to get his plot going to contain the entire Danish population in a series of over sized habitrails.
- Brix has continued putting out albums to mixed reviews and flagging interest, yet continues to sell out venues whenever he tours.
- Buch will be the Danish Health Minister.